3 Times

The holiday season turned me into quite a fibber- I’ve been telling folks for about a month that I “work out at the gym 3X a week.” Well… that was true… before like the second week of December. I call the holiday season the gauntlet, for a few reasons: 2 Christmas parties that are a tradition (this year they were on the same day, and we made it to a part of each), my husband’s birthday (the 19th), my son’s birthday (the 24th), Christmas itself, New Years Eve, and then our wedding anniversary on the 4th of January (12 years!). All of this makes for a very busy Christina and Co., and keeping up with any type of schedule just flies out the window. I suppose that if I’d been working out steadily for the year, I could have muscled through (ha ha) the holiday season with a “you can’t mess with my groove!” attitude, but as it is, my habits are still pretty new. So “I work out 3X a week” was like “I work out Monday nights and then feel guilty 2 more days a week.”

I learned a few things, in this season of semi-effectiveness. I took all of these things into account when creating the expected “New Years Resolutions.”

  1. Not sweaty Christina is VERY CRANKY. I’m awful. Short tempered, lethargic, sleep gets really elusive, and I eat terribly. I become an ineffective human being. It makes me seriously question how I lived most of my life without exercise!
  2. Eating terribly these days can very well mean not eating much at all. I DO. NOT. LOSE. WEIGHT. when I under eat. In fact, I will have a stall for days when I don’t eat enough, and then I eat enough calories the next day and drop. It goes against everything that “conventional” (b.s.) wisdom tells us – extreme calorie restriction unless done in a very, very specific way, just doesn’t cut it.
  3. The only way to make this healthy life work is to have a regular bed time and wake time. This is THE HARDEST. THE HARDEST THING FOR ME. I hate going to bed on time, always have (ask my parents). Well, hardest next to giving up chocolate. For a very long time, I have been going to bed between 1 and 2:30 AM, and then rolling out of bed 5 minutes before 9 AM, when my work shift starts. For one thing, that’s not enough sleep. Not even close. For another, my goal is to have my two non-class workouts happen before work, which means I have to get up at 7. That’s really, really early for me. I am not a morning person. But I couldn’t completely blame my difficulties in waking up on not loving mornings, if I was only getting 5-6 hours of sleep some nights.

All those lessons added up to these resolutions:

  1. I am working out Monday night at 6:30, going to a group dance class. It is the hardest thing for me. It gives me anxiety every single Monday, and then I go and love it. I am slowly getting over people “watching” me “dance.” (The air-quotes are because I’m not entirely sure that what I do in that class is dancing.) I also work out Wednesday morning, which is my weights day. Friday is 50 minutes on the elliptical, my max time thus far. I would assume that within a few weeks of making this my regular M-W-F schtick, I’ll be up to a full hour.
  2. At some point (I am seriously dragging my feet on this one) I need to make a menu, and I need to make it for 2 weeks so I can just leave it on rotation. At some time I will explain why food is now even more complicated for me than it was before, but meh. Suffice it to say I need to stop “winging it” on my food plan.
  3. Up at 7 AM, down at 11 PM (or 11:30 if I have to fudge it). No excuses. I’m doing okay on this one so far, last night we had a kitchen installation debacle that kind of pushed that aside, but life happens. If I don’t do this, I will not be able to work out the way I want to. I enjoy working out in the evenings, but it really disrupts your life. You lose out on family time, and there seems to be no time for anything besides working out and dinner. Morning workouts are really the only thing that make sense to me right now.

On a personal level, I am also going to read the Bible daily this year. I’m taking it one chapter at a time.

At last update, I had lost 29 pounds. I’m now down 43 and I feel fantastic. I have already dropped 4 sizes, and I can’t seem to keep up with pants. I get a pair that feels nice and tight and soon they are trying to slide away! I mean, it’s a good thing, but it also drives me nuts. I HATE loose pants. Grrr. Pants and bras ladies, am I right?!

I am waiting for the Amazon fairy to bring me a few little gems to up my workout game:

dancesocks locklacespink

I got the DANCESOCKS for my Monday night Rizzmic class. The floor at my gym is super waxed and your athletic shoes just grip. I can’t get my swivel on! I will let you all know if these things work – they had great reviews on Amazon. If you haven’t tried Lock Laces, I suggest you check them out. Very affordable and turn any pair of lace up shoes into slip-ons. Plus the elastic adds compression to your shoe, which is very nice for stability.

I’m off and “running” for 2015! What about you?

Thankful

I’m sorry I fell off the posting bandwagon – I have simply been too busy! If I’m not doing one of what feels like a million grocery shopping trips, I’m working out or hanging with friends and family. I’ve got so many big life changes going on right now, it feels like I barely have time to think. I am blogging from my phone or this would never happen ūüėČ

I think I can sum up what I want to say by CTRL+C & CTRL+V-ing some facebook posts I made over the last few days:

“This has been one of the biggest, craziest, best, worst, most intense, most heart breaking, most fulfilling, loving years of my life. Healthwise, I had an organ removed, a ridiculous amount of dental issues, and found out I’m allergic to LIFE. I felt like rolling over but instead I got serious and took my life back. My journey finally stopped being about weight loss and magically it’s coming off like melting butter while I eat amazing food and work out doing what I love. I lost a friend who was much too young. I turned 30 and was celebrated by the people in my world who love me with words AND actions, people I aspire to emulate. My mother in law spent a year with is in our home and taught me more than I thought possible, and though I will be sad to see her go, the perfect situation opened up for her and the changes of life are sometimes beautiful. My time with her has been precious. My husband and I fell in love again for the umpteenth time, and we are closing in on our 12th anniversary soon. My son is getting great help at school, and last but not least our family found a church that not only felt like home right away, but also has made special steps for Xander and the other autistic kids in his class. Our last challenge this year is for Will and his back. I’m not here to be negative though, and I’m learning to embrace life where it’s at, so I am thankful for the time that he’s home. So I am thankful, very very thankful. Love to all.”

“Day 4 of rotation diet. I am down 16 pounds since beginning Oct 28, and for the whole year I am down 29 pounds. I surprised myself yesterday by getting a size smaller workout pants than I thought I would (and jeans too)! I have so much energy, and here’s an AMAZING benefit: because of the holiday and my forgetfulness, I had two days in a row with NO BIPOLAR MEDS. I had some physical side effects but ZERO mental side effects. No depression or crazy mania. Got my meds this morning, like a good girl ūüėČ I even worked out this morning, and just like [our fellow LEAPSTER] said, no temptation with “the feast.” This is sooooo worth it.”

My life has been so transformed over the last few months I almost have whiplash. But I am so grateful for all the blessings in my life. Thankfulness is something I don’t have to strive for this year, it is coming really easy. Love to all of you and I thank you so much for your love and support.

Food Update and a Recipe

10805569_10152830167665259_7247499871323613321_nI have been slowly adding foods to my repertoire. These days I eat:

Proteins: pork, chicken, crab, shrimp

Starches: oat, sweet potato, buckwheat (rarely), rice, white potato (actually yukon golds are my favorite)

Vegetables: cucumber, celery, yellow squash, green bean, tomato, lettuce, broccoli, carrot, cauliflower

Fruits: avocado, apple, pineapple, cherry, cranberry, raspberry, mango, peach, blueberry, strawberry, watermelon, black olives, banana, grapes (I don’t think grapes are my friend)

Dairy: yogurt, cheddar cheese

Nuts/Seeds/Oils: sunflower, pecan, peanut, olive, sesame

Flavor Enhancers: lemon, dill, cinnamon, honey, black pepper, oregano, garlic, sesame, cumin

In some ways, the list is about the same length as my first list, however, I have dropped things from the list that I will never eat, and added things back in that I enjoy. My doctor said to prioritize adding the foods that I really like, and we can come back to the other foods later.

You may be surprised by the good things you can come up with using these limited foods. My friends have asked me to share my recipe for the rice dish you see above, this rice is good served along chicken, pork, or seafood. I most often eat it with chicken, but I just added shrimp back to my life yesterday, so we’ll see if I get to eat shrimp again ūüėČ

Simple “Mexican” Rice Dish (Pictured Above)

My spices are pretty limited; if I could modify this dish in any way, I would add sauteed garlic and onion. Be that as it may, this is still a pretty flavorful dish.

  • 4 cups “old” cooked rice (I use long grain white, and mine has usually been in the fridge at least a day before I make this. You want the rice in that semi hardened state)
  • 3-4 tbsp tomato paste (I like Costco’s organic)
  • 1 tbsp oil (I use peanut)
  • 2 tsp spice mix
  • optional: 1 tbsp water, or more if needed

Steps:

  1. Start by adding oil, tomato paste, and spice mix (recipe below), to a cold pan, and set the temp to medium-high. Keep stirring; this will look lumpy because of the spices. If I were going to use garlic and onion, I would saute them before adding these ingredients.
  2. When those ingredients are nice and hot, throw the rice in the pan. You will have to toss it quickly, until all the rice has a nice coating. Before your eyes, this dish starts to look like the Mexican rice you see at restaurants.
  3. Continue to cook for about 3 minutes, or until rice is heated through. Toss frequently for even coating. If you feel like things are getting too dry, or you are having trouble getting the tomato paste to coat the rice evenly, add water in, no more than 1 tbsp at a time. I only had to use 1 tbsp; you may get away with none, you may need more.
  4. Serve hot! I top with avocado chunks, lemon juice (lime would be perfect; can’t have it!), and a little more sea salt and cracked black pepper.

“Mexican” Spice Mix

This is far from a true Mexican seasoning, but it’s all I’ve got!

  • 4 tsp sea salt
  • 2 tsp cumin
  • 2 tsp oregano
  • 2 tsp black pepper (more or less if you want spicier or less spicy)

Mix and then use 2 teaspoons of mixture in recipe. Keep rest for later.

I hope you enjoy! (2/3 cup serving is about 150 cals, 1 cup servings are about 220 cals)

The Inspiration

I have been getting a ton of positive compliments and great feedback and support from my friends and family members. They say they are proud of me. They say that I’m looking great, ask me how I’m feeling and wonder about my food plan. They talk with me about my workout routines and ask for updates.

Recently, I have been getting a new kind of compliment, one that is a little overwhelming for me, as this whole lifestyle is a completely new development for me. I have been hearing some combination of these 3 powerful words:

“You inspire me.”

All at once those words are humbling, encouraging, and they feel like a contract that is being signed. You inspire me, keep inspiring me. All these words are awesome tools for good motivation to keep in my back pocket (which is hopefully harder to reach into because I want a big butt).

I have been pushing myself harder than I ever have before in my life. and it feels SO AWESOME. Lately my workout routine has been mostly made up of 45 minutes on the elliptical on medium-high resistance with a decent incline (some less high impact breaks thrown in there as well). I had started lifting last week and decided it was time to get serious. Today I had a 10 minute elliptical warm up, then I followed that up with:

  • Leg Press, 100 lbs, 30 reps X 2 sets
  • 45 lb Bar Squats (just the bar, not ready for more yet), 15 reps, 10 reps
  • Abdominal Machine, 55 lbs, 20 reps, 10 reps, 10 reps
  • Chest Press, 55 lbs, 10 reps X 2 sets
  • Seated Row, 55 lbs, 10 reps, 7 reps, 5 reps
  • Shoulder Press, 55 lbs, 10 reps, 7 reps, 4 reps
  • Bicep Curl, 40 lbs, 8 reps (ran out of energy!)

I feel so amazed that I can do that kind of physical activity. I was limiting myself for so long based on what I THOUGHT I could do, or could not do, as the case may be. Furthermore, I would get so far along on what I would try, and then never push past that. You know, now that I look back on it, I think part of the reason I quit is because NOT pushing yourself is BORING.

I saw a great inspirational graphic today on Pinterest:

puravit

I have a full on laundry list of all the people in my life who have inspired me to get fit and challenge myself. Every single one of them is instrumental in my life’s walk to get where I am today. But it’s not enough.

YOU have to be enough. There will be times when there aren’t enough compliments. Sometimes people will get sick of hearing about the changes you’ve made, and you will feel the urge to stuff your dirty gym socks in your mouth to stop your verbal fitness diarrhea. Often, you will wake up, put your feet on the scale, and it won’t tell you what you want to hear. Sometimes you’ll be lazy. Sometimes you will want to eat the cupcake. Sometimes… it will all feel too hard.

There are a couple of voices that swim around in our heads. The negative voice will always be there. It’s like a family member that shows up to holiday gatherings and embarrasses and alienates everyone. You can’t get rid of that voice, but you can shout back at it, just like you would your drunk, offensive uncle: “NO. YOU’RE WRONG. YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME HOW TO FEEL OR WHAT TO DO, AND I AM A FABULOUS UNICORN.

By Michele Melcher
By Michele Melcher

We also have the BUSY voice. “You are much too busy to take 1.5 hours for yourself at the gym 4-6 times per week.” “There is no way you’re going to be able to handle cooking everything you have to eat from scratch.” “Isn’t it so much simpler to just grab something at a drive thru? Do you really believe this is all worth it when you’re soooooo busy?

Dude – I have to work out because I’m busy. I have spent so many years running around with my to-do list with zero energy to complete it. I have been depleted, worn out, and overused. Working out gives me the energy I need and the strength I need to get stuff done! I am a much better and more effective person when I work out, and that includes time management.

Lastly, and most importantly, we have the positive voice. The loving voice. Do you know what I have realized? You can have a relationship with that part of your inner thoughts – you can trust yourself and your positivity. Even if you mess up (you will) and what you thought you could handle was too much, or you weren’t any good at it, your positive voice will continue to say, “Hey, good job trying that out. Let’s do something else.” Don’t let your negative voice get in there and say you’re a failure. Don’t let it crowd out your positive voice by ganging up on it with the busy voice. The positive voice is the STRONGEST and MOST POTENT of the three voices – if you give it life. Refuse to let the other two voices kill your greatest asset.

I am my own inspiration, for now. I will fail, which is why I keep other forms of inspiration around, and why I surround myself with loving, healthy people. However – I challenge you to light a fire in yourself, a fire of hope, and grace, and positivity.

I don’t write much about my faith here much, but I will tell you that as I begin to care for my body the way I wish I always had, that innate sense that I am worth it grows more and more. I promise you – you are worth it too.

Just a number

Fitbit Aria Wi-Fi Smart ScaleAlthough weight loss is no longer the focus of my goals, it is a side effect of the changes I am making. For the past two years, I dedicated plenty of time, energy and money into trying different ways to achieve weight loss, and I was having more and more difficulty succeeding. It didn’t seem to matter if I cut calories, exercised, drank more water, or completely changed my food credo. (Paleo, anyone? Weight Watchers anyone? Going insane, anyone?)

The whole term “Weight Loss Program” is loaded with problems. First of all, no one wants to lose weight, they want to lose fat. We have been brainwashed by so many influences that this number on the scale is the be all and end all of health information. I do have a lot of “weight” to lose, but I want it to be the right kind of weight coming off. Until my body becomes used to the pounding I’m giving it at the gym, I may even gain a pound or two. If I were focused on “weight loss,” this could be really upsetting to me (and has been in the past), but because I’m focused on my all over health and I know that what I’m putting in to my body, and what I’m making my body do are completely healthy things for me, I can rest assured that my scale is not trying to personally insult me and ruin my day.

Be that as it may, while I was considering keeping this private before, and I certainly have no intent to make announcements like this on a consistent basis, I’d like to share that I am 24 pounds lighter than I was at some earlier point in this year, with 11 of those pounds having left me since October 28th when I started LEAP. This is positive feedback for my health progress, and that makes me happy. But I have more important indicators than just a stupid number.

  • I have more energy
  • All of my pants are too big
  • My waist is smaller than I’ve seen it in months (maybe even years)
  • I can work out for much longer than I believed I would be able to
  • My mood is uplifted most of the time; my bipolar hasn’t seemed to be able to drag me down as easy, now that I’m not eating foods that sicken my body
  • Pretty much all of the health problems that were plaguing me before are gone, if not drastically reduced

There’s way more to health than how much you weigh. That’s just part of the whole picture.

One of the greatest signs to me that I’m achieving more and more of my goals is that I LIKE the whole picture. I love and accept all of myself, even the parts I’d like to see be different. This body is allowing me to use it to achieve my goals. That’s pretty cool, don’t you think?

Fitness geek?!

As many of you know, recently a very close friend of mine passed away. I will state here that it is highly unlikely that I will blog about him at any time, in a lengthy way. I choose to cherish most of my memories of him dear to my heart, and to keep them private. Thank you for all of your support and condolences; he is the first person to leave my life too early, and there is nothing else in the world like that kind of hurt. I am choosing to move forward in my life quickly, while harboring the sweet thoughts of who he was, knowing that I will never truly get over his loss, but seeking to not fall into so many pits as I have before. To honor him, now, more than ever, nothing will stop me from pursuing health.


These days, I’m a whole new woman in many ways. My personal goals are pretty much healthy¬†food prep and to get myself to the gym. Along with all the wonderful blessings of this time of year comes all of¬†the consumerism. Gifts between friends and family – there’s nothing wrong with that. Lately, though, my urge to CONSUME has been reduced. I am less and less inclined to get “stuff.” Be that as it may, there are things in this world that we need to get from point A to point B, and now that I’m getting into this fitness lifestyle, I have a few holes in my gear. This year, my wish list looks like this:

It cracks me up how excited I get about all of this fitness stuff. My best friend used to tell me about the cool compression shirt she found, or a pair of shoes that helps her stability and stance, and I pretty much humored her and did the smile and nod. I guess after 3 years of doing life together, she kind of rubbed off on me. ūüôā

One thing standing in my way at this point is that it is VERY hard to find good workout clothes when you’re plus sized. Monday night after working out, I went to Fred Meyer to find THE MOST AMAZING WATER BOTTLE EVER. I was complaining to¬†the cashier about the small (pathetic) plus size section, and how finding¬†good plus size workout wear was so difficult. It’s kind of a slap in the face: you’re fat? Good, no working out for you, stay that way! I am¬†working my booty off to get OUT of plus sizes,¬†but on the way down, I need good athletic wear, and it’s very¬†scarce¬†– and expensive! Okay, all good quality workout wear is pretty pricey, but it’s hard to want to spend a ton of money on clothes I’ll shrink out of in a few months. Thank goodness for LB, which has a fairly good and extensive line of workout stuff, and lots of coupons. My awesome hubby is picking up two pairs of workout leggings for me tonight. They are pretty cool because they have compression.¬†My New Balance running shoes will arrive tomorrow. Even my feet make finding workout gear difficult because I wear an 8.5 2E/WW (I call them double wides). After a ton of searching, I came across these gorgeous shoes (because let’s face it, normally I get nursing home shoes, amiright?):

shoe (1)My last pair of athletic shoes… which are over… um… probably 5 years old now (for goodness sake) were New Balance and so I’m a little biased, but I seem to do really well with them. I’m sorry for going on, and on, and on… but I’m really excited. Excited for fitness stuff!!! (So weird…) I have been friends with health nuts for years. I never thought I’d be one too!

Moving into Phase 2

crabI¬†will now begin to add¬†new foods to my repertoire, one or two at a time, to see if I have reactions to them as I add them back in. Tonight, I got to have… CRAB!!! (In fact, the crab¬†that you see at the left. If you have a Fred Meyer or QFC near you, please accept my recommendation of this product! DELICIOUS¬†and EASY – these legs and claws are pre-cracked, so you just get to do the chomping.)

I devoured the whole box, and I don’t feel bad, because prior to my seafood feast tonight,¬†my total food consumption was¬†two chicken leg and some roasted yellow squash and apples. So there.

I am short on¬†thoughts this evening, but there has been a mantra that has been building up in me and I’d like to share it with you – it’s my one BLAMMO thought summing up my whole experience on this crazy sensitivity/intolerance train, thus far.

If you stop eating for pleasure, you will find pleasure in what you eat.

I don’t know how many pieces of advice, or articles, or blogs, or tips from friends, or little whisperings from primary care doctors I have heard over the years, that sounded something like “well, if you just eat things that are good for you, eventually you won’t want to eat X, Y, and Z anymore!”

I personally think that’s oversimplifying the process a bit. The first 5 days, or so, of eating this new way… I won’t say they were hard, but they felt really “boring.” As my body slowly let go of the toxins, artificial sweeteners, high fructose poisons, and MSG laden flavors, my mouth became MINE again. I could taste more subtle flavors, and enjoy the new textures.

You should see me eat an apple with some peanut butter now. You’d think you just gave me a banana split.

Do I miss other foods sometimes? Well, yeah, of course. Yesterday, I had to walk through one of my favorite food courts, one of which specializes in all sorts of international cuisine. The smell was overpoweringly amazing. And I know, I know, I just started. There’s going to come a point when I’m sick of this whole shebang. But not today.

What I’m really marveling at is how you can adapt to new foods, and once you let go of food¬†having to entertain you… you just may be entertained anyway.

Getting back on the elliptical!

exerciseI did something last night that I was sure I’d never do again: I went to the gym. (I also didn’t blog – ha!)

I made this decision on Tuesday, when I purchased my second membership to the beautiful and well-appointed local gym that’s just about 2 miles – and only 4 minutes! –¬† away from my home. When we first moved to the middle of what used to be nowhere, but is quickly becoming Suburban Somewhere, I had joined this lovely gym. I enjoyed my membership for close to two years, and then I got lazy about my health and quit. Because I had also purchased an unlimited child care pass, this gym was too expensive to not visit several times per week. At that time, it made no sense to keep the membership. Fast forward to today, and as you all well know by now, I am taking care of myself again. This time, I plan on making it a real and realistic lifestyle change, not a “weight loss plan” with a deadline. As my food choices get better and better, my body wants to move. That has been an interesting phenomenon in and of itself.

So the embarrassing part of this story? After signing up to go back to the Nice Gym… I went and cancelled the cheaper, more bare bones gym membership I had purchased at a place that was about 5 miles away, and approximately 15 minutes drive time, in traffic. My motivation for this was the price, which was about 40% of what I paid at Nice Gym (with unlimited childcare membership). But…

Guess how many times I made it to that gym?

I’ll give you a hint: It’s two.

Guess how long I’ve had that membership? A year.

Guess how much having that “cheaper” membership saved me?

IT DIDN’T BECAUSE SPENDING $20/PER MONTH THAT YOU DON’T USE IS $240 YEARS OF WORTHLESSNESS. Actually, That means I paid $120 dollars for each of my gym visits. If that weren’t so exasperating, perhaps it would be hilarious. (Okay, it’s hilarious.)

Some of the benefits that Nice Gym has with their premium membership are:

  • unlimited classes
  • free 30 minute personal training session each month
  • sauna
  • unlimited tanning
  • very nice locker room with showers
  • 4 minutes from my house (let’s keep it real folks – that’s the real winner-winner-chicken-dinner right there)
  • smoothie bar (doesn’t mean much to me right now, but some day I may not be so sensitive to things and I’ll be able to indulge in this again, once in awhile)
  • beautiful children’s room with a huge play space and multiple slides, as well as very competent childcare providers who are kind and caring

I elected to skip out on the $20/month unlimited childcare fee. If you bring your kid to the gym every time you go, this is a great deal, but I will probably not bring Xander every time. Your other options are to pay $4.00 for each individual visit, or $30 for a 10 visit punch card. My monthly membership, with all of those benefits above, is $29.95 plus tax. The Cheap Gym membership was $15 for me and $5 for unlimited care for Xander. It was a great deal… except for the part about me not using it. They have no classes, no locker room/showers, no sauna, one free training session per membership, are too far away, and their kid’s room is not nearly as fun. The staff is really sweet there, and they keep things clean. They recently had a remodel with new equipment and flooring – they’re just bare bones. And if bare bones is all you really want, then $15/month is a really great deal for a gym. But no amount of money is a good deal if you don’t use a service.

All this has me thinking: what does “worth it” really mean?

It starts with this: I am worth it. You are worth it. Then what follows should be:

  • priorities
  • goals
  • dreams
  • achievable realities
  • guidance from experts
  • realistic expectations
  • convenience and usability

I realized I had been shortchanging myself, my health and my need for convenience, for $10.00 a month (or $30.00 a month with the childcare option). I hadn’t taken my driving time into consideration, let alone the time of day I’d be traveling to the gym. Since I get off work at 5:30, it was right at rush hour. I also failed to consider what types of services I’d be giving up by switching to a more low tech gym. I hadn’t considered that I already felt comfortable at Nice Gym and that switching would feel foreign to me.

I think it’s okay to pay for convenience, provided that you will use that convenience. I think it’s okay to want the best for yourself when you’re taking your health into your own hands.

I haven’t blogged about my experiment in giving up on eating out (any eating out: fast food, coffee, frozen yogurt, restaurants – all gone), but $10.00 is a trip to McDonalds, and $30.00 is a trip to Red Robin. Both of those choices were detrimental to my health,¬† and yet just over six weeks ago, I was perfectly comfortable shelling out the dough for 30 minutes of food pleasure (followed by several hours of food torment later on… I’ll spare you the details).

When your priorities change, so does your mindset, and I think throwing some extra dollars at the gym is the best decision I’ve made all week!

Ups and Downs

23117008Today is day 9, and I got to take a really fun detour from my program, and have some dental surgery. Having the tooth removed was the wisest decision for my health, but it came along with some nasty¬†chemicals. First off, I was put under anesthesia, and then sent home with antibiotics, 600 mg ibuprofen, a mouth rinse, and some hydrocodone. I plan on not touching the hydro if I don’t need it (thus far I have not), but I have to do the ibuprofen to keep the swelling at bay, and I can’t fudge on the antibiotics or the rinse.

The oral rinse has freaking SACCHARIN in it. Makes me so mad. Why do we humans have to make everything taste “good¬†(if that’s what you want to call it), instead of just keeping it as natural as possible? I have no doubt there are necessary health benefits to me using the rinse, and I will follow doctor’s orders, but it really pisses me off. And it’s also¬†apparently giving me a headache. (Or perhaps that’s the detoxing of the anesthesia?) It feels¬†especially ironic, because headaches weren’t one of my complaints before starting this program. Don’t you just love it?

It seems like life is that way, sometimes. There’s always a pitfall thrown in your way, and those can definitely make you want to give up. It seems so easy: I will probably have to do my 10 day trial over again, why not dig into the Halloween candy? I have a headache now, so obviously there are toxins in me. Just give up. This isn’t worth it.

No. Just no. For the first time in my life, I have never wanted to give something up LESS. Prior to today, I was feeling amazing. Not hungry, no cravings, enjoying my food and it’s natural flavors, no digestive issues or other complaints, skin beginning to clear (slowly) of my psoriasis, better mood, less cranky. So no, Halloween candy, you don’t win. This wins. I WIN.

But today kind of sucks. Is that okay?